(Right click the link and choose 'Open In New Window' to see Bad Idea Jeans)
Okay, I certainly hope you took the time to watch that commercial...and I hope you got a laugh. But, now it's time to get serious.
We need to talk jeans, men.
I kid you not when I say that I have had the experience (can't really find a proper adjective to describe the experience) of dating a guy who wore jeans nearly identical to the bad idea jeans...yes, it was in this century that I dated him. Seeing as I'm a bit of a blunt person at times, I took the liberty of buying him a pair of jeans that was actually made within the previous year.
Now, before you get all defensive of this said date, he did ask for my help in shopping and updating his wardrobe.
Back to the story.
I buy him these jeans and was witness to him trying them on...and let me just say...WOW. They made him look even HOTTER than he already was (the hotness factor had dropped a few points after seeing him wear his version of Bad Idea Jeans several times.) I was definitely pleased. Not only did it improve his appearance to others but you should have seen how he strutted in them!
Okay, enough reminiscing. I know you're wondering, how do I get myself a pair of these jeans that will have the ladies drooling over me? Today, my friend, is your lucky day. Read on to find out how you, too, can strut in your very own pair of "Good Idea Jeans."
First, some visual help:
These gentlemen kindly modeled their GOOD IDEA jeans for me...ok, ok, they didn't but wouldn't that have been fun?
 | ||
| Notice the way these jeans highlight the best features on these guys...yes, it looks like they may be having a 'girl fight' but at least they look good doing it! |
 | |
| So, if I had to vote, I'd say pair #2 was a bit on the light side. However, I'd like to point out that all 4 pairs fit very well and also give you a good idea of the different styles you need/want for different occassions. Pair #1 - Casual date night. Pair #2 - football watching at a bar with your lady (because you want to look good for her). Pair #3 - Date night that includes a nice dinner and maybe a show or concert. This look is also good for those of you familiar with the Denver bar crowds in LoDo. Pair #4 - could also work for the same situation as Pair #3 but notice that the shoes have been changed to probably match the shirt. |
We women realize that you may not necessarily care that there are a thousand holes in your favorite pair or that the back pocket has fallen off of the pair that still fits from college. However, it would be VERY wise to keep those jeans for ‘at-home’ moments when no one else is around.
What I want you to do right now is take out all of the pairs of jeans you own – yes, even if it’s only 2. Lay them out near you and take a good look. Then, use the following rules to filter through the good, the bad, and the just-plain-get-rid-of-them:
1) If any pair is just a shade above white, you should toss them. They didn’t look good when they were in style and they REALLY don’t look good when they’re not in style.
2) If any pair has tapered legs, you should toss them.
a. What is tapered, you ask? Please scroll back up and watch the video clip.
3) If any pair hangs off your butt, they should go too (unless, that is, you can salvage them with a nice belt and have them sit on your hips – at the lowest!)
4) If any pair are too tight that you have to wear them below your gut, you should say 'buh-bye'.
a. this also includes pairs that reveal the credit card slot in the back when you bend over, squat or sit.
5) Keep in mind that jeans can be too tight in front as well. Please get rid of them! We don’t need to know THAT much information before we learn your name!
6) If you own a pair of jeans that looks eerily similar to the Bad Idea Jeans...please burn them. Thank you.
7) You can save the holey, butt-worn jeans for when you're making us feel like a lady (see earlier postings) by fixing the leaky pipe or changing our oil.
Now, as you look at what you have left, you might feel a bit of a panic. Not to worry, next I will provide some guidance as to what to buy and where to buy it.
1) First you should to get yourself measured. You need to be honest here. Just because you own a pair of 32” waist jeans doesn’t mean you actually have that waist. And, just so you know, we can tell.
2) Look for jeans that are darker in color. Not necessarily navy blue but a nice dark denim is VERY versatile.
3) You want to go with a straight-legged style. Boot-cut doesn’t work for all guys and if you’re reading this book, you’re probably not the metrosexual type that can pull it off. Keep it simple.
4) Make sure the length hits right at the bottom of your shoes. Too long and they’re going to drag and eventually fray at the bottom. Too short and you’ll look like you’re preparing for the next flood.
5) BUY JEANS IN YOUR REAL SIZE!
6) If you're feeling the crunch of the current economic times, head to the nearest low-cost yet fashionable store (think Old Navy) and find your best style. Otherwise, The Buckle has a very nice selection (and if anyone is reading this who works at The Buckle, can I get a discount for advertising for you?)
This next bit is VERY important:
There you have it guys. Now turn off the computer and go get some jeans that will make us ladies drool!
Agree? Disagree? Confused? Let me know! Leave a comment!
