Let me start by saying:
Chivalry is not dead...I just need to stop making friends with it and make it my boyfriend.
I've heard many times over how women wish men were more chivalrous. Well, ladies, I'm here to tell you that there are men out there who are still VERY chivalrous and that chivalry is not dead. I have been a first hand witness to it and I gotta say, it brought a HUGE smile to my face.
What did he do, you ask? Well, to respect his privacy, let's just say he made a simple, thoughtful, old fashioned gesture that impressed me far more than any bouquet of flowers or other gift I've received.
This impressive act of chivalry came from a very close male friend of mine. While I completely value my friendship with this chivalrous man, I began to wonder about my habit of forming a friendship with the "good guys" and taking a huge step out of the potential girlfriend zone. How does a gal avoid this label of "friend" while keeping things simple and easy so as not to rush things? When do guys stop seeing a girl as girlfriend potential?
I've been catching up on my Cosmo reading lately and there was one article that talked about the differences between men and women. The main (and most obvious) difference is that women are very complicated - men have a hard time understanding this - and men are very simple - with women often making them out to be more complicated than they are. Consciously, I know this and I know my fellow single ladies know this. Yet, we inevitably project our own complicated mess of emotional thoughts on to you and continually misinterpret your words, actions and behaviors. I fear, though, that the simple answer is this: If men want to date you, they will. If they don't they either don't call/pursue you or you become the girl (insert long pause) friend.
This also brings up the topic about men and women being able to just be friends. If the guy doesn't want to date you but you become the friend, does that leave the door open for a reassessment? Who is in charge of making that move then?
So, guys, tell me (and my fellow single ladies), how does a lady avoid falling into the purgatory of a "friend" with a guy she is interested in?
