I want to hear YOUR stories!

Okay folks, it's sharing time.  I know you have 'em.  We all do.  Sometimes we cringe, sometimes we cry, sometimes we run away screaming.  Most of the time, though, we laugh uncontrollably.  What am I talking about?  Dating stories of course!  Add your story to the mix in the comment section.  Please omit personal information but certainly include all the gory details!

Need some inspiration?  Great!  I'll start.

Orville Redenbacker
You know who he is, right?  The white haired guy selling us delicious popcorn behind the guise of a bowtie.  Remember?  Well...my date earned this nickname after a very sweet attempt to woo me (and I'm pretty sure to fatten me up for...?).  Orville had seen one too many episodes of The Bachelor (yes, he admitted to watching the show) and crossed over the line of being extraordinarily sweet to kinda creepy when he snuck up while I was walking my dogs wearing a very Orville-like outfit.  I'm talking, white linen pants, a white vest, a lavender dress shirt and, yes, a bow tie.  Orville then proceeded to walk my dogs with me in this get up.  At the end of the walk, he produced 2 containers of Cold Stone ice cream.  Granted, I had made mention of how sexy a guy looks in a suit (to which he had told me he didn't own a suit but owned a bonafide bow tie and knew how to tie it) and on this particular day I canceled tentative plans due to stress about going back to work.  His intentions were sweet...but rather unnerving to me.  My neighbors definitely offered up their opinions on the oddity of a man walking dogs in a bow tie and dress shoes.  Regardless, I did my best to stay open-minded and gave Orville another chance.

Second Chance Orville
Being a teacher, my days are exhausting no matter what time of year it is (during the school year).  However, the beginning of the year is particularly exhausting and when you add in an open house that requires schmoozing with parents of students you barely know, a night of pizza and wine on the couch sounds like HEAVEN.  Well, my second chance with Orville was lobbed up so clearly and easily...I told him, directly and clearly, that I wanted to do just that - pizza and wine on the couch...at his house.  Well, as I was getting ready to walk out of work after my long, exhausting day I received a text from Orville asking me to call him as soon as I was done.  On my way to my car, I received another text of picture of a building that looked similar to the building next to my school...I called Orville and he let me know that I should go to the park a block from my school.  I was speechless (not in the good way) and a little weirded out.  Upon arrival Orville met me at my car, walked me up the side walk to a "picnic".  The "picnic" involved table, chairs, table cloth, plates, silverware, wine glasses, candles, wine and pizza.  Again, a VERY sweet and romantic gesture...except that a) we were in the neighborhood where my students live and b) we had known each other for a week and a half!  As much as I wanted to love it and revel in the romantic gesture, I was paranoid my students would be popping out of the bushes.  I was also quite overwhelmed for having known the guy for such a short time.

Poor Orville just overwhelmed this gal with a little too-much-too-soon.

Left-eye
I won't say why he has this nickname.  It does not matter.  Lefty made it to 2 dates with me.  Date 1 involved drinks on a patio.  Very relaxed and easy going.  We had a nice time.  I left there feeling like things could go either way - another date or not - and I would be okay with either.  Well, date 2 came in the form of an offer to go to a concert.  Lefty had an extra and up until the last minute, I had no idea what exactly we were doing...A little frustrating for a gal.  Turns out I met some lifelong friends of his and everything was going great.  We had a bite to eat then headed to the show.  We were tailgating before the show and, again, things were going well.  Lefty walked off to a group of friends a little ways away and when he came back, I knew something was wrong...On our way in, we lost his friends, thankfully we ended up finding a great spot on our own.  Left Eye went to the bathroom at one point and then came up and grabbed me saying we could get closer.  We made our spot and were enjoying the show when suddenly, the couple next to us started giving us a hard time about crowding them (keep in mind we were at a concert at Red Rocks - open, bench style seating with plenty of room when everyone is standing).  Lefty got mouthy with the girl and I told him we should just leave.  He was fiesty from some intoxicants and apparently shoved his hand in the girl's face.  Her boyfriend and I just stood back in awe as she slapped Lefty and his glasses flew onto the ground.  By this time, security had been alerted and they were trying to drag us away.  Thankfully I found Lefty's glasses (he couldn't see without them, AT ALL), we found his friends and things seemed to simmer down. 

Back at the car...Lefty informs me that he is unable to drive and his friends let me know the same.  So, guess who gets to drive 3 incredibly intoxicated adults home from her 2nd date with a guy?  Yup, your's truly.  Needless to say, I didn't go out with Lefty again.

Was I harsh with these two men?  Maybe.  However, ya gotta go with your gut on occasion.  Or, in my case, these two occasions.  I'm sure Orville will make some woman swoon with his Bachelor-esque ways.  I'm guessing Left Eye finds a lady who will enjoy watching him cat fight with another woman.  It just isn't going to be me.

And, if you're interested, I'm sure I can find a way to hook ya up with one of these two studs!

Now it's your turn!  Let's all commiserate together!  Share and share alike!  Enter your stories in the comments section!

The "wow" factor...

Should we blame it on Hollywood?  Should we ban romance novels?  Why does romance seem like such a fairy tale lately?  

 Is there such thing as the "wow" factor anymore?


It seems as though our concept of what is romantic has been tainted and skewed.  Media paints a picture of grandiose gestures that are simply unattainable yet many men (and women) feel pressured to live up to these expectations.  Thanks to shows like The Bachelor, first dates must include renting out the nearest pro stadium, catering a gourmet meal and launching fireworks while dressed in designer clothing and decorated with priceless jewels.  However, is this what women and men really want?  Don't we know that reality TV isn't really reality?


I'll let you in on a little hint...Most women don't want or need these over-the-top gestures to feel romanced.  Most of the time it really is the 'little' things that make the difference and most of the time they don't have to cost you a dime!


Think about it, guys, how good does it feel when your boss comes in, slaps you on the back and says, "You rocked that presentation?"  How manly do you feel when you help a damsel in distress jump her car on a cold winter evening?  How sexy do you feel when you see girls' turn and smile as you walk through the bar?  You're wowed, aren't you?  Yet, not a penny was spent.  Imagine doing that for a woman.  Imagine that it's that easy, because it is!

Making a woman feel secure, desired, and attractive are some key elements to having a happy love life.  While there are many other complicated factors to actually maintain the secure, desired and attractive feeling, we definitely appreciate your attempts and it makes a significant impact on us.  Imagine doing this for a woman without the ball park and jewelry.

I've been told I'm not like other women...whether that's good or bad, well...

Anyway, I'm not a materialistic gal.  I still have my childhood dresser in my bedroom (in desperate need of a face lift but I like to call it 'shabby chic')!  So, I'm not wowed by a man who picks the fanciest restaurants or plans extravagant dates trying to impress me with his money.  Money can't buy happiness and it certainly isn't placing a cool cloth on my forehead when I'm sick.  

I'm also not wowed by your prowess.  You work out?  Great.  So do I.  You can make 99% of the free throws you shoot?  Whoo...Practice makes perfect.  What I really want to know is, can you write me a poem?  Can you express yourself to me without using words like 'yo', 'dude', and 'homegirl'?  That's what matters.  It's your brain, your heart and your morals that are going to have me swooning.

The reason I say all of this is because I want you all to understand that most women just want a man to CARE for us.  This is easily done at little to no cost.  See my examples below.
Free ideas:
- write a little love note or poem for her.  Send it via email, leave it on her nightstand or car door (the internet makes this even easier than ever before - Sweet notes and texts for your girlfriend
- open doors for her...even if she's used to doing it on her own and does it more out of habit than fierce independence.  
- TALK to her.  Tell her she looks beautiful, tell her her smile lights up the room...Compliments go further than any amount of cash.
- send her 'hello' messages throughout the day.  These will do wonders for even the most insecure gal!
-   reach for and hold her hand when out in public
- lead the way when weaving through crowded places 
- rub her feet while she's cuddled on the couch with you 

Low cost ideas:
- buy her chocolate, dark chocolate.  Unless she's allergic...if so, move on.  However, this is a guaranteed smile producer.
-  buy something that shows you've paid attention to the little details (if she likes dragonflies, find little trinkets with dragonflies)
- cook a meal from her favorite cuisine (or just any meal, really)
- figure out what toiletries she uses, buy travel versions and let her keep them at your place (or, offer to let her keep them)

There are so many more things you can do to wow a lady that don't involve breaking the bank or reinacting scenes from the latest RomCom.

However, what it really comes down to is this, when you let us see how much you like us, when you tell us how amazing you think we are, we will open our hearts and return the favor to you 10 fold.  Take it from a girl who is experiencing all of this and more, and considers herself the luckiest gal in the world!

Well hello followers and readers!  My my my, it's been a long time!  I have a slew of unpublished blogs that I intend to get to ASAP but wanted to provide you a quick update on me.

First, I am currently in a relationship...Correction, I am currently in an AWESOME relationhship.  YAY!  Met my a couple months ago and it was a hit from the start.  He's wonderful and I can't believe he's mine!  More on him later...and I'm sure more stories to come.

Second, I had a bit of a health scare this summer that should have caused me to pause more than it did.  As a result, I had a few setbacks.  Never to fear, I'm back and ready to GO!

Be on the lookout for updates and many blogs.  

Talk to you all soon!

Summertime fashion tips

Hey guys (and gals)!

So, I've been doing some research and most of what I'm reading is fashion tips from people who live in NYC or LA where the word 'fashion' takes on a whole new meaning.  I live in Colorado.  I know SOME of the rules apply but some are just way too..."city" for me.  Here's my take on the fashion tips I've read:

Rule #1 - Flip Flops

• Flip-flops are appropriate for the beach, poolside, your backyard, and not much else.
• Never wear flip-flops to the office. And avoid wear in the city.

Okay, I get the not wearing flip flops to the office but, really?  The city?

Like I said above, maybe in NYC or LA but here in Denver we bust out the flip flops in January!  If you invest in a nice leather or fabric pair, you can probably get away with them in a lot more places than you think.

However, it was also mentioned that you need to buff up your feet.  I totally agree!  Granted, I'm not necessarily encouraging all men to drop into the nearest nail salon and get a pedi (that's a ladies' luxury), but I am suggesting you purchase a pumice stone and take a moment to scrub up in the shower.




Rule #2 - Shorts

Basic tips that all men should know about shorts:

• Jean shorts (also known as "jorts") are a big NO.
• Athletic shorts are great...for the gym or the basketball court.

So, what should you wear?  Well, I'm glad you asked!

First, you have the flat-front, buttoned cotton short.  These come in a few styles - plain-colored, plaid, or striped.  The plaid shorts are a more modern fashion trend and some guys just aren't comfortable.  That's why you have choices!

This style is a great choice when you want a more polished look for the summer.  Pair it with a nice polo or graphic tee and you're ready to go!

The other option is the cargo short.  I understand the comfort that comes with wearing this style but you must realize that these shorts are more casual and they also don't give us ladies anything to look at (i.e. your ass...ets!).

Comfortable?  Yes.  Attention getting?  No.

Even David Beckham drops down on the "Hotness" scale when sporting cargos.  How dare he hid his best feature with baggy shorts?




So, if you must, wear this when you're lounging with the guys or heading to a ball game.  However, please keep us gals in mind and pick yourself up a pair of plain front shorts so we have something to look at while you oogle our tan legs and other body parts in mini-skirts and summer dresses!





Rule #3 - The Tee Shirt

I already discussed this in a previous blog entry: Shirts but for convenience I will do a brief review of the tee shirt.

The trick with the tee when you want to look good for the ladies is go for a small v-neck that has a slightly tighter fit (usually labeled 'fitted') than your regular crew neck tee.  These shirts will make your chest, arms and shoulders look bigger and your waist smaller which is what we ladies like!  Becks might be denying us some particular views in his cargos but he does have the v-neck down.  The great thing for you guys is that you can spend as little as $5 and get a great wardrobe!

I know, girls, it's just not fair.

Anyway, back to the tee.  The other v-neck option is the low or deep v-neck.  Personally, I don't think any straight man should wear this shirt.  Not even if you have chest muscles bigger than Hercules.  However, you may feel the need to compete with the ladies in the cleavage department.  If that is the case, feel free.  I don't dig this look but that's just my opinion.

A fun graphic tee is always a nice option for a little added style but, honestly, you'll find it much easier to get ready to hit the town if you stick with the plain small v-neck.

And that's it, boys!  It's really that easy for you.  While sometimes I feel sorry that you don't get to have the fun with fashion that we ladies do...I also envy you.  You really do have it easy! 

Enjoy your summer!

Question and answer: How to avoid the 'friend' zone?

Let me start by saying:

Chivalry is not dead...I just need to stop making friends with it and make it my boyfriend.

I've heard many times over how women wish men were more chivalrous.  Well, ladies, I'm here to tell you that there are men out there who are still VERY chivalrous and that chivalry is not dead.  I have been a first hand witness to it and I gotta say, it brought a HUGE smile to my face.  

What did he do, you ask?  Well, to respect his privacy, let's just say he made a simple, thoughtful, old fashioned gesture that impressed me far more than any bouquet of flowers or other gift I've received.

This impressive act of chivalry came from a very close male friend of mine. While I completely value my friendship with this chivalrous man, I began to wonder about my habit of forming a friendship with the "good guys" and taking a huge step out of the potential girlfriend zone.  How does a gal avoid this label of "friend" while keeping things simple and easy so as not to rush things?  When do guys stop seeing a girl as girlfriend potential?

I've been catching up on my Cosmo reading lately and there was one article that talked about the differences between men and women.  The main (and most obvious) difference is that women are very complicated - men have a hard time understanding this - and men are very simple - with women often making them out to be more complicated than they are.  Consciously, I know this and I know my fellow single ladies know this.  Yet, we inevitably project our own complicated mess of emotional thoughts on to you and continually misinterpret your words, actions and behaviors.  I fear, though, that the simple answer is this: If men want to date you, they will.  If they don't they either don't call/pursue you or you become the girl (insert long pause) friend.

This also brings up the topic about men and women being able to just be friends.  If the guy doesn't want to date you but you become the friend, does that leave the door open for a reassessment?  Who is in charge of making that move then?

So, guys, tell me (and my fellow single ladies), how does a lady avoid falling into the purgatory of a "friend" with a guy she is interested in?  

Also, why do you put her into the friend zone to begin with?