Okay folks, it's sharing time. I know you have 'em. We all do. Sometimes we cringe, sometimes we cry, sometimes we run away screaming. Most of the time, though, we laugh uncontrollably. What am I talking about? Dating stories of course! Add your story to the mix in the comment section. Please omit personal information but certainly include all the gory details!
Need some inspiration? Great! I'll start.
Orville Redenbacker
You know who he is, right? The white haired guy selling us delicious popcorn behind the guise of a bowtie. Remember? Well...my date earned this nickname after a very sweet attempt to woo me (and I'm pretty sure to fatten me up for...?). Orville had seen one too many episodes of The Bachelor (yes, he admitted to watching the show) and crossed over the line of being extraordinarily sweet to kinda creepy when he snuck up while I was walking my dogs wearing a very Orville-like outfit. I'm talking, white linen pants, a white vest, a lavender dress shirt and, yes, a bow tie. Orville then proceeded to walk my dogs with me in this get up. At the end of the walk, he produced 2 containers of Cold Stone ice cream. Granted, I had made mention of how sexy a guy looks in a suit (to which he had told me he didn't own a suit but owned a bonafide bow tie and knew how to tie it) and on this particular day I canceled tentative plans due to stress about going back to work. His intentions were sweet...but rather unnerving to me. My neighbors definitely offered up their opinions on the oddity of a man walking dogs in a bow tie and dress shoes. Regardless, I did my best to stay open-minded and gave Orville another chance.
Second Chance Orville
Being a teacher, my days are exhausting no matter what time of year it is (during the school year). However, the beginning of the year is particularly exhausting and when you add in an open house that requires schmoozing with parents of students you barely know, a night of pizza and wine on the couch sounds like HEAVEN. Well, my second chance with Orville was lobbed up so clearly and easily...I told him, directly and clearly, that I wanted to do just that - pizza and wine on the couch...at his house. Well, as I was getting ready to walk out of work after my long, exhausting day I received a text from Orville asking me to call him as soon as I was done. On my way to my car, I received another text of picture of a building that looked similar to the building next to my school...I called Orville and he let me know that I should go to the park a block from my school. I was speechless (not in the good way) and a little weirded out. Upon arrival Orville met me at my car, walked me up the side walk to a "picnic". The "picnic" involved table, chairs, table cloth, plates, silverware, wine glasses, candles, wine and pizza. Again, a VERY sweet and romantic gesture...except that a) we were in the neighborhood where my students live and b) we had known each other for a week and a half! As much as I wanted to love it and revel in the romantic gesture, I was paranoid my students would be popping out of the bushes. I was also quite overwhelmed for having known the guy for such a short time.
Poor Orville just overwhelmed this gal with a little too-much-too-soon.
Left-eye
I won't say why he has this nickname. It does not matter. Lefty made it to 2 dates with me. Date 1 involved drinks on a patio. Very relaxed and easy going. We had a nice time. I left there feeling like things could go either way - another date or not - and I would be okay with either. Well, date 2 came in the form of an offer to go to a concert. Lefty had an extra and up until the last minute, I had no idea what exactly we were doing...A little frustrating for a gal. Turns out I met some lifelong friends of his and everything was going great. We had a bite to eat then headed to the show. We were tailgating before the show and, again, things were going well. Lefty walked off to a group of friends a little ways away and when he came back, I knew something was wrong...On our way in, we lost his friends, thankfully we ended up finding a great spot on our own. Left Eye went to the bathroom at one point and then came up and grabbed me saying we could get closer. We made our spot and were enjoying the show when suddenly, the couple next to us started giving us a hard time about crowding them (keep in mind we were at a concert at Red Rocks - open, bench style seating with plenty of room when everyone is standing). Lefty got mouthy with the girl and I told him we should just leave. He was fiesty from some intoxicants and apparently shoved his hand in the girl's face. Her boyfriend and I just stood back in awe as she slapped Lefty and his glasses flew onto the ground. By this time, security had been alerted and they were trying to drag us away. Thankfully I found Lefty's glasses (he couldn't see without them, AT ALL), we found his friends and things seemed to simmer down.
Back at the car...Lefty informs me that he is unable to drive and his friends let me know the same. So, guess who gets to drive 3 incredibly intoxicated adults home from her 2nd date with a guy? Yup, your's truly. Needless to say, I didn't go out with Lefty again.
Was I harsh with these two men? Maybe. However, ya gotta go with your gut on occasion. Or, in my case, these two occasions. I'm sure Orville will make some woman swoon with his Bachelor-esque ways. I'm guessing Left Eye finds a lady who will enjoy watching him cat fight with another woman. It just isn't going to be me.
And, if you're interested, I'm sure I can find a way to hook ya up with one of these two studs!
Now it's your turn! Let's all commiserate together! Share and share alike! Enter your stories in the comments section!
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